Walking Together
by Billini
Summary: Fenris' and Sarah Hawkes relationship is following a rocky road... mainly because of the two stubborn people walking on it...
1. Worth

„Ask him!" Hawke said to the dwarf standing in front of her while polishing Bianca.

Slowly Varric was raising an eyebrow. "Why don't you ask him yourself? I don't remember you being shy, Hawke…"

She made a face and then pressed her lips together. "You know exactly why."

"Do I?" he answered innocently.

Oh, how she hated it when he did that! He knew what a moron she was when it came to social interactions, not speaking about romantic ones. Fenris and she had challenged and charged themselves for 3 years before they had finally managed to end up in one bed.

Then he had left her, and she had felt something she had never felt before: A broken heart.

Pathetic. The attack of Corypheus' dwarven followers had come right in time to escape the town for some weeks, but when she had come back and seen him again, her feelings had not changed. She was still hurt.

Confused. Understanding. In love. Furious. Sad. Everything mixed up together and knotted into a tight ball in her chest.

"Alight, Hawke, let me get this right", Varric said when she was staying silent, lost in her dark thoughts. "You want me to go to him and ask him inconspicuously why he is wearing your red ribbon till…" He deliberately let the rest of the phrase open, but she did not give him any further information about what had happened between Fenris and her. He already knew way too much about her.

So she simply nodded and forced herself to say the word she did not like to say at all, to nobody: "Please."

Varric faked a heart attack in front of her eyes when he heard her saying it, and she laughed and cursed at the same time. Then he put Bianca on the table in his room and stood up. "Alright, Hawkie. Take care of my lady while I get in touch with Broody…"

Sarah inhaled deeply when the dwarf left his room to go downstairs into the Hanged Man's bar. She had been sitting their some minutes ago herself, but then Fenris had suddenly entered the room, and she had hurried upstairs and to Varric.

She had told herself that she had wanted to talk to him anyway. But the truth was: Being away from Fenris for nearly two months had not changed anything. She was still…

Say it, Sarah, she told herself. She never had run away from anything, but this feeling was something which scared the hell out of her…

She was in love. With a man who had left her. And although she somehow understood that he had not done it because he had got what he wanted, but because of some "Fenris-Broody-Shame-Stubbornness" reasons, she had no idea what to do know and how to deal with it.

Him.

Varric already came back after some minutes, and that could be either a good or a bad sign.

"And?" she asked him.

"He told me that he does not want to talk about it. And that he will leave if I don't stop asking him."

She scowled down on him. "You haven't been subtle enough!"

Varrics eyebrows rose. "Look who's talking, Hawke! I have tried my best, but you know damn well that Broody can be stubborn…"

Her eyes became narrow. Fenris wasn't the only person who was stubborn.

Without saying anything else, she turned and went downstairs. It was time for plain-talking.

Fenris' eyes widened when he saw her approaching. For a short moment he seemed like a deer ready to flee, but then he pressed his lips together and looked down on his wine glass. She knew that he hated the wine they were offering in the Hanged Man, but after he had killed his last bottle of Aggrevio Pavalis, he had no other options to indulge in his special taste. She could not count how often she had teased him about it, while drinking a good Ferelden beer…

"Fenris!" she said and knew damn well that it sounded like a declaration of war.

"Hawke!" he answered with his damn voice which still sent a damn shiver down her spine.

Hawke. In this night he had called her for the first and only time Sarah, breathlessly and passionately, while he had been moving deep within her…

She pushed the thought to the side.

"Why are you wearing it?" she asked harshly.

His eyes narrowed. "You sent Varric to ask me!"

"Yes", she answered unashamed. "But due to the fact that you are to cowardly to tell him, I obviously have to ask you myself!"

"That's none of your business, Hawke", he barked.

"None of my business? This is my fucking ribbon!"

He stood up abruptly and started to pull it from his wrist, looking furious, but also ashamed. Heat had darkened his cheeks, and there was a slight blush on his ears as well.

Determined she watched him while doing it… and suddenly understood that she did not want him to give it back to her. When he was wearing it, she still had the hope that maybe he would…

But it was too late. With a low growl he pressed the ribbon into her hand and left the Hanged Man, not looking back.

Silently she was looking down on the ribbon, and suddenly tears filled her eyes. Hastily she blinked them away, but deep inside she was aching, even worse than before.

She was still standing where Fenris had left her when Varric appeared next to her. For once his face was serious, and his voice gentle. "He really cares for you, Hawke", he said. "But he needs more time."

"I know", she whispered. "I know."

And then she left.

In the evening she went to his mansion in Hightown, giving both of them enough time to calm down a bit. She hadn't visited him since that night, but when she knocked, she did it in the rhythm she always did, announcing him that it was her entering the building, and no slaver.

It was silent, and only a few candles were aflame. Slowly she went through the big entrance hall and upstairs to his room.

When she entered, he was sitting in front of the fireplace, his spine rigid. His green eyes were watching her warily when she approached, his face betraying nothing.

For a long moment she was simply watching him and tried for once to listen to what her mother had always told her: Her heart.

It was pounding. Heavily. It was aching. But not only because of hurt. Also – mainly – because of love.

She did not say anything when she sat down next to him. He was still watching her, even more tensely than before. When she pulled the ribbon out of her pocket, he opened his mouth to say something, but she shook her head. Then she took his hand in hers and put it back around his wrist.

His breath left his lips softly. Somehow it sounded relieved.

She wasn't sure if he realized that his fingers were stroking over the ribbon, but she saw it, and from one second to another the pain in her was fading.

She wasn't a patient woman. Had never been. But she knew that now, with him, she had to be. And she wanted to be.

Because it would be worth it. For the rest of her live.


	2. Waiting

Sarah was saying to herself that she should stay calm. There was no reason to panic: Anders and Varric were just on the other side of the stones that had been crashing down when her companions and she had been fighting Dragonlings in the Bone Pit.

She did not remember everything what had happened. One moment she had been fighting, back to back with Fenris and supported by Varrics and Anders' attacks from the distance, and the next second the ceiling over them had started to crumble and then rock fragments had been crashing down. Fenris had saved not only her, but also Fay, her Mabari, by dragging them with him, using his unnatural speed and strength to reach the other side of the small cavern in which they had been fighting.

And now the three of them were locked, on a far too small space, surrounded by suspicious looking stone walls and covered with dust. And Fay was injured, her flank fractured by a sharp stone fragment.

"SHIT!" So much about staying calm. "How could that happen? Did you hit one of the beams with your sword?" Accusingly she looked at Fenris.

He had been observing the stones, but now he was turning to and frowning at her. "No. I am NOT the one who is always fighting recklessly!"

Her eyes narrowed. He regularly had told her that she was too reckless since the first day they had met each other, but after what had happened between them some months ago, every criticism from him seemed to be even worse than before.

To say that their relationship was difficult since they had spent a night together and he had left her, would have been the understatement of the year. True, she HAD been returning to him and given him her red hair ribbon. Any yes, he HAD taken it back and was wearing it ever since. But still there were so many unspoken words and feelings between them, that the last weeks had been constantly filled with tension, and not the tension she was secretly longing for.

Pathetic.

"Sweetheart?" Anders voice was reaching her ear.

"Yes?"

"Don't worry, we get you out of there!"

"You definitely SHOULD. Fay is injured…" She probably did not have to mention that she was - on top - alone with Fenris and wanted to end this situation as soon as possible. All of her companions, especially Anders, knew how tense the relationship between the Elven warrior and herself was. The mage had told her more than one time to turn her back to this unhealthy obsession, only to hear from her that he should start with his' first.

Well, that had not been the nicest thing to say, but she had never said that she was a nice woman. And Anders had never made a secret of the fact that he liked her more than just a friend. The fact that this feeling had not changed for six years, no matter how often she had signaled him that she did not want more, WAS a symbol of obsession indeed.

Darkly chuckling she shook her head. Probably she would act in six years the same way in regard to Fenris when things continued like that…

She shot the Elven warrior a side glance. He was observing the stones again, but maybe he simply tried not to look at her. Damn, why did everything need to be so DIFFICULT…?

"Don't kill him, Sarah!" That was Varric. "Just hold on. Distract yourself…"

Inwardly she rolled her eyes because she had no idea how she should distract herself from this man she was desperately in love with, even though he could not love her back. So she turned to Fay instead. The injury wasn't as bad as it looked, but the longer they were staying in this dirty hole and weren't able to tidy the wound, the more at risk her faithful Mabari war hound would be.

"Wait." Fenris voice sounded firm and calm while he was crouching next to her.

She was watching him suspiciously and then named herself an idiot when she saw what he did: He was pulling the red ribbon from his wrist and pressed it on Fays wound. None of them had dressing material with them, and they were both only wearing leather clothes which could not be used as such.

"Well, now you have at least a good excuse to finally pull it off…"

She froze when she realized what she had just been saying. Were the hell had THESE accusing words come from? And did she really THINK that? That she had only misinterpreted his willingness to take the ribbon back? That he indeed would be happy and RELIEVED to lay it to the side? Because she was the only person in this place who stupidly still tried to hold onto a lost course…?

"Why are you saying that?" His voice sounded strange: Hoarse and also angry.

She had felt ashamed first, but the feeling immediately turned into anger when she saw the look in his eyes. "Don't you DARE to look at me as if I just HURT you!" she hissed. "YOU left ME!"

He pressed his lips together. "And I thought your act of bringing me the ribbon back was…." Abruptly he stopped himself from continuing the sentence and ended instead with the words: "Never mind, I was obviously mistaken."

"What? What the hell is that now about? Why are YOU now angry at ME?"

Fay was raising her head and growling weakly into Fenris' direction because she realized how distressed her mistress was.

"Look what you did!" Accusingly Fenris was pointing at the dog, obviously trying to distract her from the original topic.

"I", she pronounced the word and looked him into the eyes, "did NOTHING wrong."

Frustrated he shook his head, got up and turned his back to her while she was stubbornly looking down on Fay, refusing to back down or even TRY to be more rational.

Her good – or bad – intentions did not last long. When she saw how tense he was and how pale he looked, she sighed. When had he managed to make this weak and pathetic woman out of her?

"Mmm… Maybe I misinterpreted you intentions?" A piece offer. She would not say anything else. Now it was on him to take it or not.

He turned back to her and looked into her eyes, and she suddenly knew that he considered refusing it because he thought it would make things easier between them. That anger was better than this mixture of tenderness and longing that still lasted between them.

She was on her feet even before she knew what she was doing. "Don't be a coward!"

Again he was frowning. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"You know EXACTLY what I am talking about!"

Looking into her eyes, he tried to stick to his plan of being an asshole… and failed as miserably as she with her plan to get him out of her head.

Silence was rising between them while Anders and Varric were arguing outside what to do next. From the way they sounded Sarah gathered that she had to prepare herself to stay for some more hours inside of this cavern, together with Fenris.

Accepting things as they were, she sat down next to Fay and carefully pulled her head on her leg. Fenris hesitated and then joined her on the floor.

"Looks like we have to wait a bit", he eventually said, his deep voice reaching her through the silence between them, stroking over her skin.

"I am used to waiting", was all she answered and meant it as ambiguously as it sounded.

Silence, followed by: "Why?"

Exhausted, she closed her eyes and pressed her head to the cool stone behind her. "Because I…"

Love you?

Desire you?

Trust you?

Value your opinion, even though it nearly ALWAYS differs from mine?

Like arguing with you?

Like making you smirk?

Even like to see you frown?

There were so many reasons, but none of them left her lips. Instead she said: "Because I like a good hunt."

He froze, than snorted in a mixture of disbelieve, anger and amusement. "I am NO prey."

"You are the perfect prey. After all, you have a lot of experience with it."

"Do you think that is funny?" Now he was really angry.

"No", she answered challenging. "I only think that it is funny how offended you always react when someone calls you prey."

"Because…"

"… you know that is exactly what you are."

His markings started to glow, and Fay growled again. Calming, Sarah laid her fingers on the massive head of the Mabari and teasingly said to Fenris: "Thanks for the light."

„Festis bei umo canavarum!"

She chuckled. Irritated, he closed his eyes and obviously tried to calm himself.

She used the chance to watch him for a while, then closed her eyes as well, content that she had been able to change his mood. Seeing him angry was definitely better than seeing him insecure and ashamed.

"You really like to annoy me, right?"

"Yes", she answered without looking at him.

"You know that this behavior is childish?"

Now she was grinning and opening one eye. "They always told me that I am a little bit boyish. And do you know what young boys do to impress a girl they like…?"

He watched her suspiciously and then shook his head. Of course he did not know. How should he? He had no memories on his childhood.

"They argue with the girls, annoy them, and sometimes they pull them on the hair." Her hand was rising to his white strands. She would not have been able to stop herself even if she had wanted to. "Like this…" Carefully she was talking some strands between her fingers and pulled softly at them.

Their eyes looked. Green and blue. Suddenly the place felt even narrower, and the air seemed to thicken. Her skin felt tight over her flesh and bones, and the desire to kiss him was nearly overwhelming.

She missed him. He had no idea how much. It was such an irrational feeling, considering the fact that they only had had this ONE night. But she simply could not help it.

"Hawke…" His voice sounded thick and hoarse, and a shiver ran down her spine. It was good to see that part of him was as helpless as she was, although this part wasn't – at least not yet – as big as his fear and hesitation.

"It's alright, Fenris", she whispered and let go off his hair. "Sometimes it is fun to allow the prey to hide for a while. But believe me: Once it is in my trap, I will never allow it to flee again…"


	3. Warmth

Sarah was standing at her living rooms window and looking outside, a frown on her face. It had started to snow three weeks ago, and still there was no change in sight. Kirkwall was literally covered in snow, and a sharp wind was blazing though the streets. Viscount Dumar had told the people to stay inside and group to spare firewood as the routes across the Wounded Coast and especially the mountains nearby weren't save to travel, and only few ships came into the harbor these days. The food prices therefore had been rising as well, but the real problem was that they had not enough wood to be burned up.

Sarahs eyes ran over the smoke rising from the carmines of the buildings next to hers. Obviously Hightown was excluded from the Viscounts request. At last it did not look as if anybody tried to spare anything. She doubted that her neighbors would spend the evenings in a small library together with their mother, two dwarfs, an Elven servant and a Mabari, like she had done the last evenings.

It had been kind of strange being so close to her mother. Sarah had always been her father's daughter, at least that was what Leandra had told her when she had described her to be as stubborn and impulsive as Malcolm had been. Therefore her mother had focused much more on her twins…

But both, Carver and Bethany, were long gone by now. Sarah had always thought that her mother had blamed her for not being able to save her siblings, and the thought had made the abyss between them even deeper. But during those quiet hours in the library, not able to do anything but reading, waiting and talking, Sarah had found out how very mistaken she had been; that her mother loved her, but did not want to be a burden to her; that Leandra had endured staying quiet and not asking her to stay whenever she had gone on a mission; all of the things that Sarah had always interpreted as indifference.

A new bond had formed between them within those days, fragile, but soon becoming stronger, and Sarah liked it. She probably would never become the perfect, decent daughter, but being alone with her mother was finally not related to shame and anger anymore. Instead she started to realize again how important und worth cherishing a family was.

She clearly remembered an argument Fenris and she had had two years ago when she had complained that she needed to help her mother with organizing a charity event. He had told her that she should be thankful for still having a family, but at this time she had not wanted to hear what he had to say. She knew now why she had been so selfish: Because she had been afraid of looking her mother into the eyes after what had happened with Bethany.

Thinking of Fenris, her eyes were wandering to his mansions roof, and she frowned when she saw that no smoke was raising into the air.

Was he crazy? He would freeze to death if he would not fire at least one room!

Without thinking she started to dress, put her heavy snow boots on and threw her coat over her shoulders. "Come, girl! Let's go looking for Grumpy…"

Fay barked excitedly and was waggling with her short tail. Grinning about the fact that her dog recognized Fenris already by the nickname she had given him, Sarah went downstairs and aimed for the door when her mother's voice was calling her back.

"Would you mind telling me where you are going, Sarah Hawke?" Leandra asked gently.

Biting on her lower lip and actually feeling caught, she turned to her mother. "I am looking for Fenris. It seems as if he is out of wood!"

Immediately concern appeared into her mother's eyes. She really LIKED Fenris although Sarah had the feeling that Leandra did not quite understand that this man was more than a poor runaway slave without shoes, especially for her daughter…

Pushing the thought to the side, she turned when her mother stopped her again: "Take some of the furs in the library with you, Sarah, and let Orana give you a bowl of hot soup. Tomorrow, when the weather is better, we will bring him some of our wood."

Surprised, Sarah raised an eyebrow and looked her mother into the eyes. Somehow Leandra had understood that Fenris would NEVER accept an invitation to come and stay in these chilly days under their roof, so she offered another option of helping him.

Stubborn elf… Actually Sarah should let him freeze in his mansion until he came voluntarily and asked for help. She just knew that he would never do that. Especially not considering the rocky relationship they had.

Sighing, she nodded and did as her mother had told her, than left the mansion and went to Fenris', not wasting her time with knocking on the door. Yes, she knew that the Elven warrior and she had agreed about a special "announcement sign", but it was fucking cold outside!

Entering the mansion, she immediately headed for the main hall… and stopped when she entered it.

Snow was lying on the ground as the roof obviously had not been sealed, and she could see her breath in the air. Fay was nuzzling with her muzzle in the snow covering the ground and eventually had a dead, frozen rat in her mouth.

"Ahhh… FENRIS?" Not able to believe that he had really been THAT foolish, Sarah hurried upstairs. "Fenris, damn, you stubborn blockhead! Why haven't you asked for help?" Pushing the door open, she stormed into the room… and froze.

The Even warrior was sitting on the bench in front of the fireplace – in which no fire was burning at all – and quickly changed his position, but not quickly enough. She HAD seen his bloody feet.

Putting the fur and the soup bowl on the ground, she went to him. "What happened?"

"It's nothing", he answered tensely and added: "And haven't we agreed that you knock on the door?"

Ignoring his last words, she said: "Nothing? Your whole feet are bloody?"

"That's none of your business, Hawke!"

Oh, she knew this tone. Fenris had three different angry voices: One when he was pissed off while arguing with Anders or her about principles, one when he was facing injustice regarding slaves and one when he felt awkward.

Now the latter was the case. He was ashamed of something.

Inhaling deeply, Sarah tried to stay calm and not challenge him further. "Fenris, don't be stupid…"

Well, that probably hadn't been the wisest thing to say, judging from the green fire burning in his eyes.

"Out!" he barked.

"No!" Mockingly she crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I am really looking forward to see how you are going to throw me out of you house with THESE feet…"

"Hawke…" Now he sounded exhausted.

Ignoring him, she let he eyes ran over the room. He did not want to explain himself, fine. So she needed to find out by herself.

There was fresh wood in the corner of the room. It looked wet, as if just brought inside from somewhere outside. His broad sword was leaning against the wall and seemed as it urgently needed to make acquaintance with a grindstone. And in the other corner of the room were...

"… Boots?"

Fenris pressed his lips together and blushed.

Her eyes were wandering to his feet again, and she finally understood. He had been outside of Kirkwall, alone, and managed to get some wood to burn. And he HAD been clever enough to put on boots, but as he was not used to it at all, his feet now looked a bit damaged…

"Fay, sit down!"

Sarah showed at a place next to Fenris. Her Mabari obediently sat down nearby the elf who watched her mistress carefully.

She did not speak because she did not know what to say. If he would dare to say only ONE stupid thing she would tell him just how silly she thought he had behaved. But as long as he stayed quiet, so would she.

It seemed as they knew each other better than expected as no words left their lips. Sarah handed Fenris the bowl with soup and told him that it was a gift from her mother. After a short moment of hesitation he answered her stiffly to deliver Leandra his gratitude and started to eat while she was putting the furs on his bed and fanned the flames in the fireplace with the new wood. It took some time because it wasn't exactly dry, but after a while warmth started to spread through the room. Then she started to heat water over the fire and eventually sat down on the ground while Fenris was eating the rest of the soup.

"Please tell Orana that it tasted excellently."

"You can tell her yourself", she heard herself answer, "when you come visiting us tomorrow."

Slowly is eyebrows were rising. "Will I?"

"I remember an Elven warrior who always tried to teach me manors", she answered thoughtfully and stroked her chin. "Looks as if HE has never learned to say thank you…"

Surprisingly, he did not get angry again, but sighed instead and nodded. "Point taken. I will visit you tomorrow."

"Great!" Standing up, she moistened one of the small flannels that were dangling from the fireplaces' ledge and handed it over to him.

He took it and started to treat his wounds. "Thank you."

Inwardly smiling, she sat down again and stroked Fays head. "Don't ever dare to call ME stubborn again, Fenris."

The smile which appeared on his lips was small, but it was there. "I cannot promise that."

Chuckling, she was dropping with her back to the floor and stretching her legs. Ah, she missed her regular training and fighting smugglers on the Wounded Coast. Doing nothing was simply not her thing…

"You look like a cat." Fenris stated dryly. "Sprawling in front of the fireplace and completely indifferent against the fact that this is NOT your home…"

A small smile appeared on her lips, changing into a challenging grin when she was meeting his eyes and holding his gaze. Then she SPRAWLED again, but this time in a much more sensual and inviting way than before.

Sarah could see how his eyes widened a bit, but apart from this Fenris did not show any reaction at all. His self-control was as fascinating as annoying, and when he broke the eye contact and continued cleaning his feet, Sarah felt partly satisfied and partly frustrated.

Alright, she was VERY frustrated. It was two months ago since they had been locked together in the cave and talked about hunting and prey. Ever since this experience the anger between them had softened, but at the same time another tension seemed to increase with every passing day.

Well, this game two could play…

"Do you know what I do when I am freezing?" she asked innocently. "When warmth seems to be missing, no matter how many blankets I pull over me…?" She did not look at him, but into the fire, waiting for his reaction.

"No." His voice sounded calm, but deep below she heard this tension and knew that he was mistrustful and curious at the same time what she would come up with now.

"I think of being touched", she answered and closed her eyes. "I think of strong, warm fingers running over my body. I think of lips following them, down my throat, sucking and biting, until they reach my breasts." She made a small pause, remembering how it had felt when HE had done all that, insecure and shy at first but becoming more confident and determined with every passing second. His eyes, burning with passion, but also fear…

Her voice sounded hoarse, when she continued: "When the fingers reach my breasts, they will stroke and fondle them, knowing exactly how hard they can squeeze. And the lips will close over one of my nipples, sucking firmly. Just the way I like it…" Her breathing was going faster, and she could feel fire run down her body. "And I couldn't wait to feel your soft lips lower, much lower, and see you going down on me…"

Fenris stood up, so abruptly, that Sarah was jumping up as well and the soup bowl landed on the ground.

"Do you want to torture me?" he asked hoarsely, not looking at her.

"No", she answered without thinking. "I want you to get your ass up and on the horse again!"

He turned and looked at her, his eyes narrowed. "Haven't you understood what I told you that night?"

"All I understand is what I see in your eyes, Fenris", she answered, holding his gaze, and stepped so close to him that she could feel his body heat. "There is enough fire and warmth for the two of us. Keep it for tonight. I will come and claim my part another time…"


	4. Worry

Sarah was watching the five men out of narrowed eyes. They were approaching her with self-assured grins and nasty words on their lips and did not know that they would soon be dead.

"Travelling alone did not seem to be the best idea you had, Sweetie", one of them told her and raised his fingers to touch her cheek.

Silently she moved backwards, grabbed her broad sword which had been leaning against the tree next to her... and chipped his hand off.

He screamed and stumbled backwards while blood was splattering all over Hawkes face.

She could not have cared less. Shooting forward, she charged and let her blade dance. Actually it was Fenris blade – the blade of Mercy – but he had refused to take it and implied that she only wanted to remind him on his , how damn angry she had been when she had left his mansion...

But then everything had become meaningless. Her mother had died due to the blood magic of a lunatic, and everything which had ever mattered to Sarah had been shattered. Four days she had only functioned, fulfilling her duties as a good daughter, accepting all the condolence wishes and preparing the funeral. She had smiled at Anders and reassured that everything would be alright. She had taken a sobbing Merrill into her arms, because her mother had obviously visited the young Elf more than one time in the alienage. She had spoken with Aveline about her own father and had spent a whole evening in the Hanged Man with Isabela and Varric. Her mother probably would have been proud of her, but Leandra would also have been concerned to see her so completely controlled.

Fenris had visited her two days after her mother's death. He hadn't spoken a lot, and his calm presence had been so much better than anything else within these days. Looking back she assumed that he had been deeply worried, seeing more than her other friends, but in the end he had decided to say nothing and leave her alone. When he had been gone, the hollowness and darkness deep inside of her had even grown deeper.

Leaving Kirkwall had been her only option. Her only choice. Deep inside of herself something had been starting to grow, a heavy hunger eating her from inside. Only blood seemed to be able to fulfill it, at least for a while. The blood of her enemies, but also her own. She had started to dive deep into the adrenaline and hurt of a good fight, even more than before. If Fenris had called her reckless in the past, he would have called her now suicidal.

But the Elven warrior wasn't there anymore, and neither were her other friends. She had left Kirkwall one month ago and made sure that no one was able to follow her. Now she was deep in the Vimmark mountains, looking for a good fight on every corner, no matter if it was a fight against thugs like those she as fighting now or the mountain lions or bears.

A man was crying in agony, and the sound was ringing in her ears and singing in her blood. Suddenly a heavy pain shot though her left leg, but she did neither stumble nor hesitate, pulling strength out of it instead, and charged again, her strokes even growing faster and heavier.

In the end the last two thugs decided to flee, and it took her all of her strength not to follow them. Her leg was bleeding too much, so she had to treat the wound first…

On the other hand: Why? Wasn't that exactly the reason why she had decided to come here? To finally join her family? To finally find somebody who was willing and able to kill her in a good fight?

She shot forward and followed the two men, ignoring the pain shooting through her leg and the blood running down on it. The first of them whirled around and tried to fend her off, but her BLADE had no MERCY with him… Someone was laughing about the joke, and when he fell to the ground she realized that it was her own laugh, sharp and loud.

"You BITCH!"

A small, but sharp dagger blade was sliding under her armor and would have met her heart if she hadn't been able to throw herself to the side in the last moment. Hard, she was slamming on the ground and felt in the next instance how her head was being pulled into her neck and the blood splattered blade pressed against her throat.

_Finally…_

The pressure against her throat disappeared, and a wet sound could be heard. Then the thug's body fell onto the ground next to her, his eyes wide and empty and dead.

"NO!" Furiously she was whirling around and looking up… into green eyes.

Fenris looked down on her with a frown, appearing to be thinner than the last time she had seen him. His markings were still glowing softly, and his fist was covered with blood.

Snarling, she changed her stance and crouched in front of him, looking up. "Why have you DONE THAT? He was MINE to kill!"

For a long moment he watched her silently. Then he was crouching as well and softly answered: "I thought I was your prey? But now look at us: It seems like I am hunting YOU…" Leaning his head to the side, he added, holding her gaze: "Besides: To me this fight has looked more like an attempt to get killed, and not TO KILL…"

She charged, but he was quicker gone than she was able to see or realize. The next moment strong arms closed around her from behind, and she was pressed against his armor and hold so firmly that she was barely able to breath.

"I got you."

"Let go of me!" Angrily, she tried to throw him off – unsuccessfully.

"No."

"You have made your decision, Fenris", she hissed and continued struggling against him. "You turned your back on me, but now that I am broken and at the end, you come back? Don't make a fool out of yourself and out of me. I do not need you."

"You are neither broken, nor at the end, Hawke", was all he answered, still holding her. "You are mourning."

Damn, suddenly she felt how weak she was. With physical strength she definitely wasn't able to overcome him, but maybe with psychic?

"What do you know about mourning? Her voice was sneering. "You have no idea what you are talking about, Fenris. You have never allowed anybody close. So don't fucking tell me that you understand what I feel!"

"I never said that." How could his voice still sound so soft and patient? "All I say is that I am here now."

And that did it. With a rush all of her remaining energy left her, and she was collapsing in his arms, staring at her blood spattered hands.

"You have no idea how much a hate this city", she eventually whispered. "It has taken everything away from me. It should have been our hope and salvation, but turned out to be the bane of our life. Carver lost his life on the way to reach the city, Bethany when she tried to help me earning a better life for us. All of this somehow made sense. But this... THIS..." Suddenly a dry sobbing sound came over her lips. "I cannot understand this. I don't know which sense it should have that mother was taken in this way from me." Another sob, although she tried to oppress it. She had not shed a single tear after holding her mother's body in her arms. "I am wondering if the Maker is punishing me. And then I think that he probably doesn't exist and life is just fucked up..."

Fenris was staying silent, neither denying not approving what she said. His embrace was gettig more gentle, and with a sigh she let her head sink against his shoulder, while finally tears were running down her cheeks. "I cannot go back, Fenris", she ended. "I don't know how."

He took his time to speak, but when he did it, she had been able to calm down a bit and was following his voice. How much she had missed it...

"You are right: I cannot say that I have ever experienced what you feel now, but what I know is how loss feels. The loss of something you aren't even able to give a name. For years I wasn't even aware that I was missing it, but then I came to Kirkwall and met you and the others." Hesitating, he continued: "I think I would miss you when you were gone. All of you. Well, maybe Anders not so much, and Merrill... I don't know. But Varric, and Aveline, Isabela... and you." Quieter, he ended: "Especially you. What I want to say is: There is always hope. Always something to care or also worry about. If life was fair, you and I, we both wouldn't be here. But it isn't. And all you can do is to decide if you want to face it, or if you want to back off and run."

A wet chuckle came over her lips. "Look who is talking. Shouldn't you be the one adopting your own advice first?"

There was a short touch of her hair. His lips?

"Maybe I will, Sarah. But I need you to be in Kirkwall to do so."

A strange feeling was rising inside of her. Her tiredness mixed with relieve and the realization that maybe - just maybe - she had not lost everything.

"So you were following me out of selfish reasons?"

"If that makes it easier for you to come home with me", he commented dryly, "I will agree with that ridiculous accusation."

Snorting, she was stroking over her face and got up, looking down on her and realizing for the first time how she looked. "I should take a bath."

"There is waterfall nearby. I can show you..."


	5. Waterfall

Sarah might have INTENTED to wash herself as soon as possible, but once she had started to move, her weakness and blood loss had made sure that she hadn't gone anywhere. Instead, she had been swooning in Fenris' arms like a damsel in distress.

That was now 5 days ago. 5 days in which Fenris had taken care of her wounds, hunted food, cooked for her and defended a hungry mountain lion off. She had never felt safer and more cherished.

It was an odd feeling because it always had been herself take care of other people. On the other hand: Where had it let her? Her whole family was dead, no matter how hard she had tried to protect them, no matter how hard she had tried to keep them safe. Obviously she wasn't the expert in taking care of others like she had always imagined to be…

Whenever she caught herself in falling into these dark and self-pitying thoughts, she remembered what Fenris had told her: That she had friends back in Kirkwall, people who cared for her. That she would be missed if she stayed away, especially by him.

Did she really want to turn her back to this life and flee?

No. Her friends were everything she had left.

A strangled sound let her look up, and she immediately knew where it came from: Fenris. She had taken over the watch two nights ago because he was clearly exhausted and learned that his sleep was light and regularly plagued by nightmares. Whenever they were travelling with their friends, he was sleeping offside and therefore she had not recognized. But here they had to stay close to each other and she could watch him while sleeping and dreaming.

She had not been so stupid to wake him up although it hurt her to see him like this. But she had started to speak to him when he was so anxious, and although feeling pathetic when doing it, she had the feeling that he calmed down a bit.

"Alright, Grumpy", she started. "What is it now you are dreaming of: A bad blood mage? Anders offering you a drink?" Fenris frowned, and she had to hide a grin. Then she told him more seriously, like she always did: "We will kill Danarius, Fenris. I promise you. I won't allow that you to live this kind of life until the end of your days. This bastard has no RIGHT ON YOU anymore!"

Two hours later he was waking up and nodding into her direction.

"I go to the waterfall", she told him. "And I am finally strong enough to stand UNDER it. So I will not only have a catlick, but a REAL shower."

"I am glad that you told me, Hawke", he commented dryly and started to prepare the food, like he did ever morning.

"Fenris?"

He was looking up, immediately willing to make sure that she was alright. "Yes?"

She held his gaze. "I will be under this waterfall. Naked. I am not weak anymore. And I decided to FACE this shitty life." Making a step into his direction, she added: "So if you meant what you said… I would suggest that you follow me instead of playing housewife…" Turning her back to him, she left the clearage and followed the sound of water. Then she slipped out of her clothes and dived into the lake, swimming to the waterfall and lifting herself on the rocks below.

Feeling the water on her skin, although cool, was amazing and made her feel REALLY alive. She washed her hair and stroked over her skin, making sure that the last bit of dirt and blood which might still be there was washed away.

A sound let her open her closed eyes. On the other side of the lake, Fenris had appeared and watched her, his face betraying nothing.

She wondered what he was thinking. Was he angry because she had been so brazen? Was he annoyed that she had called him housewife? Or was he aroused…?

Well, thinking about how thin she was and how many bruises she had, she doubted that… Of course he WOULD be aroused when he came to her, but from the look on his face she could not say if he would do so…

Then he started to undress, and she was surprised. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but not that he would do it directly in front of her… and so slowly and deliberately that her mouth watered and her heart beat quickened.

Stroking the water out of her eyes, she let her eyes run over his body and admired every single inch of skin and muscles he revealed.

He wasn't looking at her, which was good because she would not have been able to hide her admiration. On the other hand she was starting to get unsettled because she felt that he wasn't as relaxed as he should be. Of course he was checking the wood to make sure that no enemy would take advantage of his vulnerable state, but there was more to his discomposure.

When he was fully undressed, their eyes met… and she understood.

He had given her a promise one week ago, and wanted to hold onto it: The promise to adopt his own advice and to face the things he was running away from, namely herself.

But like she, he wasn't yet ready for it; at least not completely.

Slowly, she dived into the water and was swimming into his direction. He raised an eyebrow and then did the same, meeting her halfway in the lake.

"Fenris", she welcomed him.

He hesitated and said: "Sarah."

A shiver ran down her spine when she heard her name coming from his lips, and it had nothing to do with the coolness of the water.

"You know", she eventually said, "maybe we should think about some kind of…graduated scheme…?"

Now he raised both eyebrows. "I… am not sure what you want to tell me, Hawke."

Inwardly cursing, she changed her tactic. "Wager."

"Wager?"

"Yes. We start with a kiss. Both of us have one try to make it as special as possible. The one who wins has a free wish." She knew that her suggestion didn't really make sense. But she also knew that she definitely did not want to make love to a man who was still half afraid of her. He needed more time, and this was the only idea she had. After all she was no expert herself when it came to relationships or… love.

"Agreed."

Taken aback, she looked up … and was kissed.

Fenris did not start slow. Instead, he took full advantage of the fact that he had surprised her, opened her lips and let his tongue stroke against hers. She hadn't even realized that they had been swimming back to the shore when they had been talking, but now she was thankful for it because it allowed them to stand and not to balance themselves in the water. And it also allowed her to wrap her arms around his neck…

At least she tried. When he captured her hands half way and pulled them on her back, she irritated opened her eyes.

"Only a kiss", he said, his voice sounding even raspier than normal. "Keep your hands to yourself."

Oh, this game two could play… She smiled challenging, and when his lips touched hers again, she opened her mouth and used every kissing skills she had to make sure that he WISHED for the touch of her hands. Licking over his tongue and nibbling on his soft lips, she evoked a low growl coming from his chest. Smiling confidently, she was already backing off when his tongue delved deep, kissing her so wet and demanding that heat shot right to her core…

"Shit!" Panting, she stared at him when he moved backwards.

"I am looking forward to your attempt, Sarah", he said and made a short half bow. Then he left the water, put his trousers on and added: "May the best one win…"


	6. Wager

Fenris was watching Sarah - who just gambled with Varric – from the distance. When she had heard that the dwarf had accompanied him on his search to a certain point, he had seen a new glimmer of liveliness and delight in her eyes. She had been happy, even though she hadn't said anything and only asked why Varric hadn't accompanied him the whole way.

"I thought it would be better this way", he had answered and silently added. _For you…_

Sarah had thoughtfully looked at him for a very long time.

"You know me well, Fenris", she had eventually said and stepped closer. "And you know in which stage I would be and that I would never want any of my friends to witness me like this. You on the other hand are no friend. You are... something entirely else." Stopping so close in front of him that he had been able to feel her body heat, she had added: "I really want to kiss you for this." His heart had started to race and his mouth become dry while a mixture of anticipation and hesitation had flooded into him. "But… you know", Sarah had ended, "I have to think about something special to win this first round of wager, so I cannot simply KISS you…"

And suddenly he had understood how serious she was going to take the wager; and how stupid he had been to accept it without further negotiations. She would really be the death of him one day.

This conversation had taken place two days ago. They had arrived one hour ago in the small city where he had left Varric behind, and things between Hawke and the dwarf were as she had never been gone. Varric had mentioned neither her mother's death, nor Hawkes disappearance, but simply told her that Bianca had missed her and whined him the ears full and then he had invited her on a drink.

Sarah just laughed about something that Varric said and put her beer mug back on the table. Fenris still couldn't understand how anybody could drink this swill, but at least she was more cheerful again and a bit closer to the old Hawke. Of course he knew that she would never be the same again, but it had unsettled him to see how lost she had been.

Not to think about the moment when Bodahn had come to his mansion and told him in panic that she was gone.

He had not hesitated one moment, grabbed his stuff and left the city. Varric only accompanied him because he had met Fenris more or less by coincidence when he had passed the Hanged Man. In the end it had been good to have the dwarf with him because Varric had a completely other way of talking to people than himself, namely wheedling them in giving him information instead of threatening them to crush their hearts when they won't talk…

"You lost!" Sarahs voice sounded satisfied when speaking the words out lout.

"And you cheated!" Varric answered grinning.

"I didn't do such a thing!" came the immediate answer, and it nearly sounded offended. Fenris could understand why: Sarah was always honest. Actually she was sometimes TOO honest.

"Oh, come on, Hawke", the dwarf explained and pressed his hands in a dramatic gesture to his chest. "You distracted me with your pretty eyes…"

Snorting, Hawke emptied her mug and put it inelegantly on the table, got up and turned around, obviously looking for him. When she spotted Fenris, she smiled a dangerous smile that immediately warned him and said: "This damsel in distress needs a gentleman to bring her to her room…"

Slowly Fenris was raising an eyebrow: "I see neither a damsel in distress, nor a gentleman somewhere on this tavern."

Chuckling, her eyes were roaming over the attendant people. "True." Meeting his eyes again, she added: "So what about Fenris bringing Sarah to her room?"

A smile formed on his lips. "I could do that."

"How very generous of you", she answered dryly and moved toward the stair leading upstairs, suddenly stopping at the bar an ordering a glass of wine.

Frowning, Fenris watched how she downed the drink and grimaced. Without looking at him, she put the wine glass on the counter and continued her way upstairs, murmuring: "What a swill…"

He stayed silent, but when they reached her room, he couldn't hold back anymore. "What was that about?" he asked and hoped that he did not sound as curious as he was. Although he knew this woman for years now, there were still – actually regularly – moments when he had no idea why she did what she did. "You don't like wine…"

Turning to him, she sank against the door and pressed her hands against the wooden material. "It was all for you, Your Grumpyness." Out of her room Fay's happy bark could be heard, and Sarah grinned and added: "Good girl. She likes the nickname I gave you…"

He could feel his frown deepen. "You probably drilled her to react like this."

Sara slightly crooked her neck. "Maybe she simply likes the sound of it? And she relates it to you and likes YOU?"

This would be the other option. He simply wasn't able to grasp why the Mabari should like a man who had always only argued with her mistress…?

"That didn't answer my question", he eventually answered, sounding and being absent-mindedly. "Why the wine? Why for me?"

Now Sarah rolled her eyes and looked into his. "So that I taste better for you, you damn fool! Do I have to write it in big letters on my forehead so that you are finally able to understa…. mmm!"

He muffled her last words by kissing her and did exactly what she obviously had intended him to do: Tasting her.

The flavor of wine, combined with her unique taste, filled his senses and caressed his tongue. Unbelievable, but she managed to let the cheap swill - as she has called it before – taste exquisitely. Only in the very last second he stopped himself from stroking though her hair and over her chin to angle her head to be able to better explore. Instead, he pressed his hands against the door and leaned in closer.

She reacted to his pressure and let her head fall into her neck, allowing him to kiss her even deeper. He couldn't understand how he had been able to stay so long without…. this. Kissing her. Feeling her body heat against his and smelling the fragrance of her skin and hair.

Touching her?

Not yet. But maybe soon. So far no unbitten and at the same time welcome memories had come back.

When she broke the kiss, far too soon for his taste, he opened his eyes again and looked into hers.

"And?" she asked softly. "Who won the first wager?"

Chuckling, he surrendered. "Considering the fact that you drank wine to… taste better for me", only thinking about HOW good she had tasted let his pulse jump, "I guess it is only fair that you win. So, what do you want to have?"

Her smile suddenly faltered, becoming untypically vulnerable for her.

Immediately he was concerned. "Sarah?"

She inhaled deeply. "Would you… would you sleep with me? I mean… not WITH me… And don't look like that, otherwise I will…"

"Yes." He did not ask why because he knew the answer: Nightmares. He also knew that as long as things were so unclear between them, she wouldn't be asking him again. It only was able HERE: Far away from Kirkwall and the life in which she was the Champion who ALWAYS had to be strong.

Taking her hand in his, he opened the door to her room and asked to distract her: "So, what will be the next wager about?"

Pulling her hand out of his, she briefly looked him into the eyes and shrugged nonchalantly. "I will let you decide, Grumpy."

His breath hitched when he saw her approach her washbowl and open her tunic while Fay was pressing her big head against his palm and silently asked to get petted.

Shooting him a challenging look over her shoulder, Sarah added: "I am quite curious to see how brave you will be…"


	7. Warden

Sarah was nestled up against him and his arms were wrapped tightly around her when Fenris woke up the next morning. Despite the unfamiliar closeness to somebody else – especially this woman who somehow had managed that her warmth and flavor seemed to claim every cell of his body – he had slept surprisingly well, and she had not have had any nightmares at all.

When they looked each other into the eyes, Fenris could see the same hesitant and pleasant surprise he felt as well.

"Good morning", he eventually said.

"Morning", she replied, her voice sounding hoarse from sleep.

Reluctantly, he let go of her and got up. "I will leave you alone to freshen up", he said and put his armor on, "and see you downstairs."

She simply nodded and he went to the door. Before he left the room, her voice stopped him. "Thanks Fenris. Your presence this night was… very much appreciated." He knew that she felt uncomfortable telling him that, as uncomfortable as he felt hearing it. In the end he simply nodded and left the room while she turned to the washbowl.

He inhaled deeply while going downstairs. All of this – being close to her – was complicated, confusing and tempting at the same time and literally gave him a headache.

"I have always imagined you to look… differently." It was Varrics voice he heard when Fenris was going downstairs.

"Differently?" A woman's voice, sounding slightly amused. "In which way?"

"Let me guess", interrupted another males' voice which slightly – and disturbingly – reminded Fenris of Anders. "You imagined her to have muscles like a man and arms able to crush dragons…?"

"Alistair!" Again the woman was speaking, accompanied by Varric's laughter.

Finally Fenris reached the bar and was able to see whom the dwarf was talking to. The woman standing in front of him was slender and tall, wearing her long black hair in a neat braid. The staff on her back indicated that she was a mage – and her armor that she was a Grey Warden.

The man next to her was a Warden as well, but unmistakably a warrior, considering the heavy armor he was wearing. He had a smug look upon his face, but when Fenris appeared, he immediately changed his stand and became more vigilant.

"Fenris", welcomed Varric him. The woman turned and looked at him out office blue eyes.

He froze. Her resemblance to Hawke was highly visible: The same hair and nose, the same eyes, the same determined look upon their faces.

"Who are you?" he heard himself ask.

She raised an eyebrow. "My name is Solona Amell."

"Namely the Hero of Fereldan", Varric added.

"Amell?" Fenris asked. "Isn't that the birth name of Hawke's mother?"

"That is a great question indeed", Varric commented. "And one I also wanted to ask before I was distracted by the beauty of the moment."

"In case you haven't understood the implication of the dwarf's words, love", the male Warden said; "he meant you."

The woman did not seem to be flattered, but looked more as if she was trying to decide whether to reprehend the dwarf or the Warden. But before she was able to react at all, Hawke appeared on the stair behind Fenris. "What's wrong?"

He stepped to the side and allowed her to have full view on the scene.

The blue eyes of the Warden widened, as did Hawkes. Then Sarah said in her own unique and charming way: "What the fuck?"

The male Warden started to grin, commenting: "And a fantasy just comes true…"

Fenris frowned and watched him more closely. When the Warden realized that he was under observation, he started to shift uncomfortably and looked nearly bashful: "I mean… it's not that I wanted to imply… anything…"

Fenris' frown deepened, as did the agonized look upon the other man's face.

"Not that I wanted to offer a threesome… or anything… I mean…"

A THREESOME ? Fenris markings started to glow while Solonas hand closed around the Wardens wrist and Sarah grinned. "So I guess you are my famous cousin… and this is your dumbass boyfriend?"

"Hey", her dumbass boyfriend meekly defended himself. "That was just a joke. Maybe you should tell YOUR boyfriend to stop glowing and looking at me as if he wanted to murder me any time soon…"

Sarahs gaze went to Fenris and lingered on his clenched fists. Suddenly he realized that he reacted as if he had any claims on her.

On the other hand: Hadn't he? She had allowed and challenged him to court her, so he had ANY right to threaten a man who offered her a threesome, even if it was just a joke.

Sarah brushed his body while she was passing by, then he felt her hand touch his lower – very low – back and was so irritated by her boldness that he immediately stopped glowing. She shot him a short side glance and blinked before turning to her famous cousin.

"Is it coincidence that you are here?"

"No", Solona answered quietly. "Your mother invited me for a visit already months ago, but only now I found the time… and came too late…" Regret and grief appeared in her eyes. "I am not sure if you know it, but we exchanged letters."

Fenris could witness from behind how Sarahs spine became rigid. "She mentioned it, yes." Her voice sounded cool. "I am sorry that you did not have the chance to meet her personally."

"So am I", Solona answered. "When I heard what had happened, I wanted to talk to you… but Bodahn told me that you were gone…"

Sarah nodded abruptly and answered harshly: "Well, now you have found me."

Solona flinched. It was the first time that Fenris could witness how the calm, steady and controlled appearance of the Warden faltered. Her companion frowned and stepped closer to her, but she already had herself under control again.

"I apologize; it wasn't my intention to trouble you."

Sarah rubbed her forehead. "Listen, it's not…. I am sorry. Let's just say that I had better times in my life." Her gaze went to one of the tables. "What about a drink?"

Solonas eyes widened. "In the morning?"

"Well, I definitely could use a drink", her Warden companion commented offhandedly when silence spread between the two women. It was more than a obvious that despite their resemblance they seemed to be completely different.

The brown eyes of the other man met Fenris' and held them. When he started to frown again, the Warden wiggled meaningfully with his eyebrows and looked to the two women and then back to him.

"I… could take one as well…?" he eventually said, not sure if that was what the other man wanted to hear.

Obviously it was. "Great!" An arm came around his shoulder. Completely taken by surprise he allowed this stranger to drag him forward and towards the table, shouting into the direction of the bartender. "Do you have Ferelden beer?"

"I have more of this piss than you will ever be able to drink", came the dry answer.

"Well", the Warden grinned while sitting down next to Fenris. "I like a good challenge. Believe me, Solona keeps challenging me every day anew. By the way: My name is Alistair. And yours?"

Fenris looked at Sarah who just approached the table and shot Solona side glances. Then he looked at the grinning man next to him and sighed: "Fenris. And believe me: If Solona is challenging you every day anew, the two might have more in common than they momentarily believe…"


	8. Wonder

Fenris did not often meet people he liked right from the spot, but he liked Solona... and also Alistair, although the latter one was somtimes annoying with all of his jokes. Still it was enjoyable listening to Hawkes cousin speaking of the Blight and Alistair adding more or less important side notes. Solona was a calm, self-controlled woman who obviously had a very soft spot for this warrior, considering the fact what she allowed him to say.

The evening went by quickly, although Hawke was very calm and let Solona and Alistair speak. Whenever her mother and the letters Solona and Leandra had exchanged became topic, Sarah changed the subject and asked Alistair again about the Blight. At first Fenris had thought the other man did not realize, but than he understood that Alistair understood more than Fenris had anticiapted and simply wanted to offer Sarah a chance to avoid the topic.

Of course Solona recognized it as well and stopped talking about Leandra after a while at all. When things became tense, Varric stepped in and told one of HIS stories, having the events in the Deep Roads as main topic.

They parted before midnight and went into their own rooms. Well, Alistair and Solona went into their room and Varic in his' while Fenris was standing indecisively in front of the room Sarah and he had shared last night.

As soon as the door had closed behind her cousin, Hawke turned around to him and stated: "I need a workout. NOW!" And off she was.

Irrittated Fenris looked at the place where she had just stood, than sighed, turned around and followed her back downstairs. When he left the house, he found her a the back side of the tavern, nearby the stable, waiting for him with a dung fork in her hands.

He raised an eyebrow. "Hawke, I know you don't want to hear it, but this is stupid: There isn't enough light and we risk to stumle and hurt ourselves. Besides, training with a dung fork isn't comparible to training with our sw..."

She charged, and only his prenatural speed kept him from being hit. Of course she did not slow down or hesitated, and of course he immediatly reacted and fought back.

Soon they were moving around each other, and in his hands was a shovel which had been sticking in the mud nearby.

He couldn't believe that he was really doing this, circling a half drunken warrior woman in the mid of the night nearby a tavern in nowhere, only holding a shovel in his hands. But here he was, and somehow - and ridiculously - he had rarely felt so alive in his life before.

"Why are you so upset?" he asked when he charged again. She moved gracefully to the side and tried to hit his feet, but he did not allow it. Instead, he countered, and she hissed at him in anger.

"I am NOT upset!"

His only reaction was a snort, and hers an even angrier attack.

This time he used his chance, moved backwards, then to the side and kicked the dung fork out of her hand. Ignoring her hiss of anger and pain, he was throwing the shovel to the side and rammed her to the ground, his hands on her shoulders. She had started this, so now she had to live with the outcome.

"Let go off me", she growled and tried to get rid of him, unsuccessfuly of course. In this temper it was easy for him to overcome her. She was neither concentrated, nor strong enough.

"Tell me", he eventually asked again. "Why are you so upset?"

Hawke pressed her lips together and moved her head to the side, than she answered: "I don't know. Maybe it is because mother and Solona were so... close. I mean, I never really WANTED to be close to my mother. I always loved my freedom. Truth is, I thought she was... weak." Suddenly tears were in her eyes and she blinked hastily. "But these last weeks... we were a bit closer. And... I was sorry for the way I had so often behaved and the things I had told her, back in Lothering and also in Kirkwall. I... wanted to apologize, but..." Now her tears were rolling, and his grip became loose. "I... I thought I had time... I just needed more TIME!" Her words ended in a sob. Slowly he was letting go of her, and she used the chance to lay her hands over her face.

For a long time he did neither say something, nor touch her and simply let her cry. Partly because he knew and understood that she did not want to be touched right now, but also because he did not know what to say to her. In the end, she sniffed and inhaled deeply, calmer again.

Their eyes met, and she gave him a genuine smile. "You really don't stop to surprise me, Fenris. How is it possible that you seem to know so well how to treat me?"

It surprised him that his answer came so easily over his lips. "I guess we are more alike than you think."

She made a face. "Do you want to insult me...?"

He frowned, but than he saw the mischiveous sparkle in her eyes and had to hide a smile. "I would never dare to do such a thing..."

Now it was her time to snort, but she didn't argue on that. With a sigh, she let herself fall back on the ground and looked up into the sky. It was a clear night with only a few clouds in the sky.

He followed her gaze and watched the stars. Silence surrounded them, only interrupted by the sound of the horses in the stable nearby and the wind whispering around them. It reminded him of the many nights he had spent alone in the mountains when he had been on the flight. Somehow it seemed to be so damn far away, and the thought of being alone again was... iritating.

"Look!" He flinched when Hawke suddenly grabbed his arm and followed the movement of her hand. "A falling star. Wish something! NOW!"

He had never believed in this fairy tale, but in this moment he simply reacted and did as he was told.

It was still the same wish than all the years before. Still a wish full of anger and hate. But for the first time it was also a wish to end his old life to start a new one... realy start a new one. For the first time he could think about a timer AFTER his revenge.

His eyes went to her face. She smiled and looked younger. There were still tear trails on her face, but at the same time she looked pieceful.

Their eyes met again. Slowly she was raising her fingers to his cheek and stroked over it. "We won't need a wish or a wonder, Fenris", she said, her voice soft and quiet and determined. "Whatever will be necessary to end this - to end HIM - you have to know one thing: I will be at your side. I will NEVER let you down.. Do you hear me?"

He stared at her... and than he kissed her with all the passion and devotion he felt for her in this moment.

She probably didn't really understand how much it meant to him what she had just said. How should she when he hadn't known himself until the moment she had spoken the words out load? But this absolut and utter loyality and belonging to HIM and his cause was something he had never expected anyone to do, at last herself. And never had he expected himself to WANT it.

When their lips parted, she was gasping and looking at him with passion filled eyes, her hands in his hair. "Wow. The kissing wager is already over, but THIS... comes near to winning the "making out" wager..."

A slow smile spread on his lips, then he deliberatly moved his rigid hardness against her core and heard her gasp. Before they did something right here in the grass and with neither finesse nor time, he stood up and offered her his hand. "If you think this is already enough to let me win the next wager", he said in a low voice and looked into her eyes, "wait and see what I really have in mind for you..."


	9. Want

"If you think this is already enough to let me win the next wager", he said in a low voice and looked into her eyes, "wait and see what I really have in mind for you..."

Fenris had never understood which effect his voice had on her. Actually he was the most blissfully ignorant person Sarah had ever met when it came to his own attractiveness and would never have guessed that only the way he spoke the words out load had made her horny; not to mention his deep green eyes locking with hers' when he offered her his hand.

Or the way his lips turned into a small, challenging and oh so hot smirk.

Alright, she wanted him. And she did not want to wait any longer. All thoughts about continuing to play this game about wagers suddenly seemed ridiculous when it was so obvious that they desired each other. So she stopped thinking and grabbed his hand, allowed him to pull her up and against him.

Their lips met in an urgent, passionate and deep kiss. She did not waste any time, but pressed her body more firmly against his'. At her core she felt him harden and rocked against him, deepening the kiss and licking over his tongue. A low growl errupted from his throat before he suddenly grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, the movement determined, firm and gentle at the same time.

Their eyes met. Then he said "Behave...", pressed his lips in warning gesture against her throat and sucked on her skin.

She froze... and felt in the next instance a lust running through her body she had never felt before. Her reaction shocked her as much as it thrilled her. Never had she allowed any lover to dominate her, but suddenly... the thought wasn't as irritating anymore as it once had been.

Fenris had felt her reaction and stopped kissing her throat, looking up to her instead. She saw the moment insecurity was raising in his eye, grabbed his head and pressed her lips against his', demanding and taking, murmuring "Make me yours... if you dare..."

Her words had the expected effect. Suddenly he was completely with her again, devouring her lips with his' and pushing her body forward, into the direction of the stables. They stumbled inside, kissing and pulling a each others clothes. Their lips only parted when they simultaneously looked for an empty box. When they found none, Fenris' eyes went back to the main building, but she had no intention to wait any longer and pulled him into the next room.

The smell of leather and metal awaited them, and they found themselves surrounded by saddles and snaffles. At the other side of the room an old coach box was waiting for them.

An unvoluntary giggle left Sarahs lips. Fenris also had to grin, but it became feral when their eyes met again. The next moment she was lifted upon the box, and he stood between her spread legs.

Her lust turned into liquid fire when his hands roamed over her body, stroking over her sides and down to her hips, closing in a possessive gesture around them and allowing him to rythmically rock against her core. She moaned and grabbed his shoulders, holding on.

"You don't... seem insecure anymore...", she whispered hoarsly.

Instead of answering, he kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth to his', allowing him to take over control completely. Only seconds later his hands were no longer on her waist, but pulling her shirt out of her trousers and stroking under it.

She moaned again and let herself fall back, arching into his touch. When his hands reached her breasts, she bit on her lower lip to fight another moan. She lost the battle when his lips suddenly went down and closed around a hardened nipple, sucking on it through the thin material of her shirt.

The next contact of his lips on her body was skin to skin when he pushed her shirt and breastband over her head and hungrily sucked and licked on her breasts. She knew that they weren't exactly big, but he did not seem to care. Instead, a pleased and passionate look was upon his face while he continued pleasuring her and looked all the time into her eyes.

"You are such a smug bastard", she whispered, but at the same time she was relieved. It was so different than last time they had been together. Less angry, much more playful. They seemed to be more equal now, having seen the best and worst sides of each other and accepting them. But most important: They did not try to change each other anymore.

At least most of the time.

Still Sarah could no let go completely, always remembering the moment when he had left her, the memory becoming stronger with every passing second.

Before he could retreat - and that he would sense her unease and do so was out of question - she took Fenris' face into her hands and pulled it to hers, forcing him to bend over her. "Don't you DARE leaving me again", she whispered and looked him into his eyes. "Do you understand me? Don't you DARE!"

She wasn't sure how he would react. He could become insecure or angry or simply flee again.

For a long time he retourned her gaze, than his' turned tender and he simply stated: "I won't. I am yours."

Her heart skipped a beat, and for once she was speechless.

His smile softened. Holding her gaze, he started to open her trousers and pulled them with her boots down her legs. She wanted to say something funny or challenging, but no words came over her lips. Instead, her mouth turned dry and the need to be filled by him became nearly unbearable.

He seemed to sense it. Part of her realised that his fingers were slightly shaking when he opened his own trousers to free himself, but the bigger part was eagerly waiting for him, invitingly spreading her legs wider and arching back.

When she felt him push inide of her heat, she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him inside of her body and grazing his ear with her lips. Then she said him what had been her first, barely eloquent or lady-like thought when she had met him years before.

"I want you to fuck me."

And he did. But only after he made love to her first.


	10. Wings

When Fenris was slowly opening his eyes, he was covered in warmth. His front was pressed to Sarahs back and filled by her body heat while he was lying curled around her, his arm wrapped around her waist and his face in her hair. At the same time the sun was falling through the opened window, directly on his bare back, and the air stroking over his skin was warm and pleasant.

He immediately jumped up, whirled around and closed the window with a hard blow of his hand.

When he turned back, a naked Sarah was crouching next to the bed on the floor, a small dagger in her hand and ready to charge. Her eyes were still a bit sleepy, but focussed enough to kill everyone who might threaten her. The sight of her, this warrior who had allowed him to come back into her bed, filled him with wonder, proud and desire.

Her eyes moved downstairs his body. She rose an eyebrow and got up slowly, looking into his eyes again. "Are you turned on by closing a window?" she asked.

He chuckled. "Hardly. I am _turned on_ by the fact that you are reacting so quickly and adequatly to the situation."

Now a second dark eyebrow was raising, and she pointed into the direction of the now closed window. "Will you explain me what that was all about, Fenris?"

"You tell me", was all he answered and waited for her reaction.

At first she seemed annoyed and narrowed her eyes, but then a pensive look appeared on her face which was soon replaced by understanding. "Of course... an open window in your back makes you vulnerable, especially in a situation like last night when your were... distracted." Her eyes met his' and sparkled mischieveously, but were becoming serious again. "I am sorry. Next time I will think about it before opening the window at night."

Next time... It felt strange and good at the same time to her these words coming over her lips. Carefully he listened inside of himself, searching for any signs of panic or shame or returning memories chasing him. But there was nothing than satisfaction and the same feeling of _belonging _he had sensed yesterday.

"You are not going to make me a declaration of love now, Grumpy, are you?"

Looking back at Sarah again, he could see that she was only partly teasing him. Deep inside of her eyes there was also a tense expression, ad he could not blame her. The last time they had woken up next to each other, he had left her.

Slowly appoaching her, Fenris simply held her gaze, hoping that she would understand what he could not speak out load.

She started to smile and moved backwards, holding his gaze and licking over her lips. Heat started to boil in his body, the same heat he could see rising in her eyes.

"Still hungry?" she asked, sounding husky.

"Looks I am not he only one who is hungry", was all he answered. Then he charged, quickly and unexpectedly, even for her, whirled her around and pressed her with her front against the door, taking care that she wasn't hurt, but hard enough that she flinched and hissed in anger.

"Do you want to annoy me?"

"No", he whispered at her ear and licked over it. "I want to please you..."

A shudder ran down her spine, while at the same time she was pressing her butt against his crotch and moved it invitingly. He immediately became hard as stone and let her feel it. Then he started licking from her ear over her neck to her shoulderblades... and froze.

"Are these... wings?" The words escaped his lips although the small tattoo - and its form - was clearly visible between her shoulderblades.

She froze as well, and if he had not known better, he would have sworn that her skin became a bit rosier all over her body. "Well.. yes." She sounded stubborn.

Slowly he was stroking over the tattoo and gave her a bit of space, allowing her to move. "Is there a story to them?" He would not force her, but he was dying to understand how a woman like Hawke could have a wing tattoo on her back.

"I got them in Ostagar", she said after a short moment and looked at him over her shoulder. "Carver received his hound, and I... well, I lost a _wager_ and he was allowed to choose the motive. I guess I can be thankful that he did not choose anything else..."

He sensed the memories she was suddenly struggling with and slowly turned her to him, pulled her into the direction of the bed and gently asked her to lay down with him again, her back pressed to his chest, the way they had been waking up in the morning.

"He was such a loudmouth", she murmured. "Always wanted to be the first and the best. The only problem was: Me too." Fenris felt her smile even though he could not see it. "You know, all that is left of my family is covered in my skin. Carvers tattoo, the scars from the fight against the oger who killed him, the scars out of the Deep Roads which took Beth from me, the scars...", her voice skipped, "...that Quentin caused me." He waited for her to finish, but she stayed calm, and so did he.

When Sarah was turning around, he patiently waited for what would come. There was still sadness in her eyes, but also determination. "Thanks for bringing me back, Fenris", she said sternly and than, suddenly, started to smile challenging. "I promise, you will regret it many times."

"Will I?" he asked and allowed her to push him on his back and straddle him.

"Of yourse you will", she whispered while leaning down to him. "Now I cannot only drive you mad when we are in battle or freeing mages", she captured one of his nipples between her teeth and pulled carefully on it, "but also in bed..."

His hands grabbed her head, but he did not push her away. "Maybe I don't mind", he heard himself answer and immediatley corrected himself by adding: "At least not regarding the last part."

Chuckling, she let go off his nipple and looked at him again, starting to move her hot, wet core over his rigid hardness. "We will never stop fighting, will we?"

"No", he answered and let his fingers stroke between their bodies, finding her clit and brushing teasingly over it. Her eyes became half-lidded, and she bit on her lower lip. "Or is that what you want?"

Suddenly her lips where on his', in an unexpected, crushing and wild kiss he returned while he started to carress her more firmly. When they broke apart and gasped for air, she took his hardness in her hand and let it slide inside of her body, answering his question. "No. Never. But I like the thought of reconciling many, many times with you, from now on and forever..."


End file.
